There Goes My Life
by ThereGoesMyLife
Summary: "There goes my life There goes my future, my everything Might as well kiss it all good-bye There goes my life." Imprint story. Read to find out more! T for language. Corrected and Updated.
1. Chapter 1

_All he could see were his dreams goin' up in smoke._

_So much for ditchin' this town and hangin' out on the coast._

_Oh well, those plans are long gone._

Chapter 1

When had life come down to being the rowdy 17 year old that was expected of a teenage boy, or growing up in a split second, learning that the rest of your life would be devoted to one cause, one tribe, possibly one person? My dreams were not of staying in this going no where town. I wanted a life. I wanted a future. I needed my freedom. My mom was a nobody. And nobody knew who my dad was. The epitome of a life in hell is not having a say in what happens, not being able to make someone of yourself because you're destined to fail before you even try. That was my life.

What are you supposed to say when someone tells you that your life is forever in someone else's hands? That you will always have someone breathing down your neck and nit-picking at ever decision you make? I tried to run from my 'destiny', but life threw me a hard one and decided that my freedom would come when hell finally decided to freeze over. And you know what I realized? Hey, people in hell want ice water, too. I should be thankful I can live forever for the one that will complete me.

When I find her that is….

_There goes my life._

_There goes my future, my everything._

_Might as well kiss it all good-bye._

_There goes my life._

I'm just a kid! Why did these teachers expect me to do all this work when there was no way I was gonna make anything of myself? I had been told all my life that no one in our family went anywhere. After being raised only by my single mom, I guess it just kinda stuck with me that I was going to fail. So I did. Without even trying to start out right.

My life started with petty fights in kindergarten because some little punk took my crayons to-

"Paul Meraz!" Shit.

"Yes, sir" I asked as innocently as possible.

"Are you planning on failing out of my class? Because if you don't get your head out of your ass then that is exactly what's going to happen. Do you want to end up like your good for nothing, whore of a moth-" I cut off his outrageous rant by slamming my chair against the wall behind me as I stood. I was shaking from my uncontrollable rage at his accusations and assumptions. See? This is why my life will get me no-where.

This town had no faith in us teenagers, but me in particular. Maybe it was because my father left when he found out my mom was pregnant, or because he was a complete drunk, or because my mom left the day after I turned 17 since she figured I was just fine on my own anyway (which I guess was true given that I had been raising myself most of my life). So I guess the whole town could argue that my family deserved their scorn. But I was at the receiving end of a lot more than simple scorn.

"Where are you going, Mr. Meraz?" my math teacher pressed which only increased my anger.

"Well, apparently this entire god-forsaken town believes me to be a failure in the making so why should I have to put up with your bullshit?" I strutted over to the door with my classmates shocked gasps sounding behind me. I spun around in the door way with a smirk on my face and one last comment falling from my lips, "By the way, you did that last problem wrong. 6687 divided by 3 is 2229, not 1671.75. You divided wrong." Then I proceeded to slam the door behind me and run out of that atrocious excuse for a school.

Obviously my house was empty when I got home. It was a cute little cabin, well built by my dad before he found alcohol, in the middle of the wooded area off First Beach. I loved the solidarity of this house. It gave me the opportunity to pretend that everything was okay and I was happy with my lonely life. I though back on what the teacher had said about my mom and I started to shake with rage again. What is wrong with me?

I heard a howl close by the house and grabbed the shot gun that sat of my front door. You can never be too careful when you live alone in the woods near a town that hates your guts. I glanced out one of the windows to see I could see any wolves, but came up empty. Grumbling at losing the chance for some target practice I put the gun away and wandered into the kitchen for some food.

Glancing at the clock on the microwave as my cooking popcorn turned around and around I realized PonyBoy had been outside for a long time. Opening the back door I let loose a shrill whistle and listened as it echoed in the silent woods until I heard a faint barking getting louder as the animal ran closer. I let out a rare chuckle as I headed back to the kitchen, leaving the door wide open.

A minute or so later I saw a huge black and brown dog/wolf bound through my yard before he burst loudly into the house. Laughing, I waited for PonyBoy to find me before giving me a few slobbery kisses. PonyBoy is a German Sheppard wolf mix and can be extremely terrifying if he doesn't like you. That's why I let him wander in the woods while I'm out and at school 'cause I know he can definitely fend for himself. That way he can also feed off any small animals he decides to catch and it saves me money that I don't have to spend on his food.

Grabbing my food out of the microwave I plopped down on the couch and started scanning through the shows on TV. Find my favorite show NCIS I sat back to see which rerun it was. I laughed out loud when I realized it was the one that Tony and Ziva had to go undercover as married and very horny assassins. I must admit that their pretend sex sounds pretty damn real to me and I wasn't called the player of La Push for nothing. I smirked, thinking about all those girls that were simply begging for me to take them. But suddenly my thoughts got away from me.

Last night I had decided that I didn't want the next girl to be another 'Hit and Run' as I called them. I wanted a real girl. I realized last night that I didn't want to accidentally get a girl pregnant and end up abandoning the girl and baby just like my dad did. I knew that if one of these 'hits' got pregnant that was exactly what I would do because I am just too immature and irresponsible. Also, no matter how tough I acted, I so desperately wanted to be loved and appreciated.

I got up from the couch after NCIS ended and started wandering around the cabin. There were three bedrooms upstairs, but I never went into my mom's. It was almost like I thought I would be cursed with her weaknesses or something if I did. Walking up the stairs there are still pictures that my mom had hung of before and after I was born. There was only one of my dad. That one I had hung up myself after mom left. I had found it the one time I entered her room, the day she left. My parents were standing in front of this very house. Mom was pregnant, but they still looked happy and in love.

I'm no good at reading emotions and I don't believe bullshit about 'love in their eyes', but from their postures I can say that they were definitely happy. Mom was leaning against dad with his hands resting on her stomach as he kissed her forehead, not looking at the camera. Mom was smiling, but she also wasn't looking. Instead her gaze went off into the woods. I don't know who took the picture, but on the back there was writing I didn't recognize that said Blake and Maria Meraz: As happy as can be. It was sweet, but only angered me further when I realized that they were obviously not happy for long if my father left before I was even born.

Sighing, I headed upstairs and collapsed onto my bed. I felt the unwanted tears of anger and sorrow pricking at my eyes, but I refused to let them fall; until I saw the picture of me with my mom on my bedside table.

"Mommy," I whispered, before I slowly felt myself drifting into a sleep where my parents were around, and I wasn't a stranger to the world.


	2. Chapter 2

_I never had no one that I could count on_

_I've been let down so many times_

_I was tired of hurtin', so tired of searchin'_

_'Til you walked into my life_

Chapter 2

I breathed in deeply; smelling the scent of recently fallen rain; the leaves, grass, flowers, and all of nature were so relaxing. Living in the middle of no-where had its perks. There was no one, but the wolves and deer to bother you. PonyBoy was around here somewhere, sniffing out his next meal while I made up my mind to never go back to school. My 18th birthday was only in a week; I could deal with hiding out until then when I could legally not go back and then get a full-time job.

Sighing, I leaned back into the wet grass and stared up into the tree tops. The sun was finally starting to poke through the clouds and I could feel the warm straining through; hoping to give me some comfort and release from this loneliness. I closed my eyes and smiled a little when I felt the sudden warmth. I knew a simple kind of life would never hurt and I yearned for nothing but a laid back, solitary life.

I could imagine myself with two possible lives. One had me living happily, yet lonely, on my own with PonyBoy and nature. But what I knew I really wanted was a life with a wife, a dozen kids running around, and enough money to keep off all the stress of college, mortgage, etc. My mom had come from a well off family and even though she never associated me with them, they took pity on her early pregnancy and me. They had left me a decent amount of money in a savings account that I would be able to reach at 18. I knew that money was a lot (probably about half a million), but I would only touch that money in an emergency because to me, it was dirty. That family had abandoned my mom and me when we really needed someone, so to me, it was a pity throw.

And of course I couldn't be left alone for long. The clouds started their bullying fest with the sun again and shoved my slight comfort away. The skies opened up and I was left soaking wet. Not a second later PonyBoy came bounding, asking for a refugee from the down-pour. Sighing again, I got up and let PonyBoy lead me back to the cabin. I darted into the house before him and grabbed a towel before rubbing him off on the porch. Then, before entering, I pulled off my soaking shirt and kicked off my shoes.

I always tried to keep the house as clean as possible to keep the need for me to clean-up at a minimum. I never had guests (besides a few girls), but it made me more comfortable to keep a clean house.

"PonyBoy! Come here," he trotted into the kitchen with me as I set down his food and water bowls. Before I was finished pouring he had already started gobbling up as much food as possible without chewing. Laughing, I walked into the living-room and closed my eyes.

_**Flashback**_

"Paul! Paul Meraz! Hey, man, wait up!" I kept walking at the same speed. I knew he would catch up, but I didn't want to look like I was running away. Sam caught up a few seconds later, "Hey, what's up?" I just gave him a blank look. Since when were we friends? He definitely knew what I was thinking, "I know we were never friends, but I thought you might want some company."

I shook my head and muttered, "I like being alone. I can actually think without morons and chicks pissing me off." Sam looked a little shocked, but covered it up.

"Well," he said, "Am I bothering? Or pissing you off?" Reluctantly, I shook my head. He smiled a little and jerked his head to acknowledge my want for silence and kept pace with me as I slowly wandered down First Beach. Sam Uley had changed so much. A few months ago he was that man that could be seen on the beach with Leah Clearwater, playing with random kids that lived here while their parents looked on fondly. He was a good kid, about to leave for college in Seattle, but then he disappeared. I have no idea for how long; I was too wrapped up in my own life to pay attention to his.

I sighed; tilted my head up toward the non-existent sun, as I thought about why I wasn't paying attention. It was at the same time that my mom left, sending my mind reeling with her at the awareness that I would actually have to take care of myself now.

"Paul? Are you okay? You're shaking, man," I snapped my head in his direction and realized that I was really shaking. I saw something in Sam's eyes that made it seem like he knew exactly why I was so mad. Then again, everybody around here knew what my dad did and how my mom died and how he left a few months ago. He probably understood, too. I knew he never met his dad and his mom was flighty.

I shrugged off his concern and gave him a small smile, "I'm fine, but I'll be heading home now. Thanks for the company." I knew not to be disrespectful to Sam Uley, he was in high favor with the tribal council and I at least knew not to piss them off.

I hiked up to the cabin, but passed by the Black's house on the way and saw Jacob Black hanging out with Quil Ateara, Embry Call, and some white girl from Forks. I felt a small pull toward her and got a glance of her face as she looked up at the racket I was making, walking through the woods. She was beautiful, but looked upset. I realized that she was Bella Swan, the Chief's daughter. I knew she had had her heart broken recently and I snorted: looked like she was just fine now with 3 guys practically panting over her.

_**End of Flashback**_

I threw myself onto my huge bed later that night, kicking off my shorts because of the sudden heat that consumed me. I was shaking again, but this time it felt like it was because of a fever.

I let out a whimper at the sudden pain that entered my abdomen causing my stomach to cramp. It felt like there was a fire, slowly building, inside all my organs and bones. I screamed, the pain searing up my body. All my muscles felt like they were pulling, stretching, and shrinking all at the same time. Eventually I passed out, but not before hearing and feeling Sam Uley drag me out of my own home.

I was shaken awake out in the middle of the woods with Sam kneeling in front of me. He looked really worried, but kind of happy too. He sighed with relief when I looked up at him, but it quickly turned to determination as I screamed again. The pain was quickly consuming my every thought and part of my body.

"I'm sorry, Paul," Sam muttered, "But forgive me for what I'm about to do." Then he stood up. I thought he was leaving at first, but then he started yelling at me, throwing insults, "You're weak Paul! You can't stand this responsibility. I don't know why our ancestors thought you worthy of such an honor. You are a disappointment to our entire tribe," My shaking was growing along with my anger. I let out a snarl and was shocked at my response. But Sam looked pleased, "You are a disappointment to everybody who you meet. Including your own failure parents. That's why they left you. They hated you and the fact you were a failure too." That was far enough!

I jumped up and lunged at Sam, but suddenly I had paws and I heard a shredding sound as Sam turned into a wolf. But I was too mad at the bastard to register this as abnormal. I was furious, hurt, and full of pure pain. I lunged at Sam again, trying my best to hurt him.

Stop! –Sam

Why the hell are you in my head? And why are we both fucking wolves? I was panicking. What was going on?

If you'd shut up I'd explain it all to you, but first we have to try and get you to phase back. Think of something calming and human-Sam

I was thinking about my mom first, but that only pissed me off further. It took me hours to think of something worthy of calming down. Then I heard PonyBoy barking in the house and remembered the day before when we were in the woods, just relaxing. I felt my bones shift and realized I was lying on the ground. Completely naked.

Sam was already human again and handed me a pair of shorts while he turned his head away to give me some privacy. Blushing, I grabbed the shorts and slipped them on before sitting in the grass, waiting for an explanation. I was trying to be calm on the outsight so I didn't go all wolf-y again, but my insides were reeling at this impossibility.

Sam sat down across from me, but just stared for a little while. I growled and snapped him out of his thoughts. Smiling sheepishly he cleared his throat before re-telling me all the legends and then explaining that they were, in fact, completely true. Even the part about imprinting. That pissed me off a little, before I realized that I could fall in love and have the dream I always wanted: somebody to love me, and to have a family.

After Sam was done we phased again and he taught me about patrols.

Jared should be phasing soon so we'll be keeping an eye on him, too. There haven't been any leeches recently. Not since the Cullens left.-Sam

Wait. That family that Bella Swan was so close to? Didn't she date one of them?-Paul

Yeah, Sam sighed. That was a disaster. I'll explain what I know later. But he showed me anyway. I saw what she looked like when Sam found the girl in the woods. Once again, I felt drawn to the poor, idiot girl.

You might imprint on her. If you felt drawn to her before you even changed and even no through my memories.-Sam

God I hope so. I want to imprint so bad.-Paul. Sam laughed, but I knew he understood completely. He wanted someone to love all of him; including the monster.

Well, you would have your hands full with Bella. That girl is a danger magnet, but also has quite a lot of sass in her. You would be a good pair, now that I think about it-Sam.

He laughed again before phasing back and telling me to do so.

"With no vamps running around lately I'm being a little more lenient on patrols. There are only two of us so until more people phase (Quil, Emby, and Jacob were all expected to change within the next few weeks, along with Jared, because of growth spurts and being overly emotional) the patrols won't be so tight. Go home and get some sleep. I'm heading home too. You'll have patrol tomorrow at 10 and I'll take over at 3. Okay?" I agreed and ran home before passing out on my bed, glad I suddenly had something to live for. And maybe even somebody to love soon.

_And she's everything I ever wanted_

_And everything I need_

_I talk about her, I go on and on and on_

_'Cause she's everything to me_

As I woke up on Monday morning I realized a throng of things at once. The immediate realization was that today was my birthday and I was now legally an adult which meant more than anything. I was now able to access the money I was to inherit from my grandparents, I never had to go back to school, and Sam had decided I was stable enough for public. All of these ideas brought an uncontrollable amount of joy to me and for the first time in a long time I felt completely free. PonyBoy, sensing my overwhelming joy, trotted to my side as I practically skipped to the bathroom to do my morning ritual. He gave my hand a gentle nudge in greeting before leaving to eat his breakfast with a smooth wag of his tail.

Sam barged through the back door seconds after I placed my mixing bowl of cereal on the table. My appetite simply had no boundaries and Sam understood completely. But this morning something was different. It wasn't unusual in the last week for my Alpha to come banging at all hours looking for free food, but today, Sam had an air about him. There was a sort of pained joy in his eyes. Tilting my head inquisitively at Sam, I greeted him with a grunt and small smile. But Sam didn't respond to any of it. With a longing sigh he sat at the kitchen table, placing his elbows on his knees before rubbing his faced tiredly.

I stopped stuffing my face long enough to ask thickly, "Sam? Man? What's wrong?" I tried not to be an insensitive prick, but really, this wasn't my favorite thing in the world. Sam didn't seem to mind though. I had a feeling he really just needed someone to talk to and I was his only option at this point. Sighing sadly, Sam finally lifted his head and I held in a gasp at that look. His eyes were bloodshot from crying, and a look of utter confusion was plastered across his face, combined with pure pain, it was a look that told of a conflicted man.

My Alpha sighed again before sitting up slightly and putting his arms on the table. He began speaking in a quiet voice, "I-I don't know exactly what's happening." A bewildered expression filled his face with his eyebrows scrunching together and teeth clenched, "You know Emily Young, right? Le-Leah's cousin?" I nodded, completely confused now, "Well, I ran into her about an hour ago and…" He trailed off. I let him think for a while before clearing my throat, reminding him exactly what he was doing here.

"I don't know what's going on, Paul. I have to talk to the elders. But I practically had to pry myself away from her! What the hell is this?" Quite as suddenly as he had burst in, Sam was gone. I sighed, sitting down. Sam really needed to pay more attention to the legends. He had told me them himself, yet he couldn't make the connection between the term imprinting and his current situation. Oh well. The elders would soon straighten him out and anyway, he was probably just too befuddled right now to be thinking clearly.

I was thriving in my new freedom to be out in public without getting in trouble for not being in school or having the immediate threat of going wolf-y on any that angered me. I wandered down the beach in happy oblivion when I heard loud, obnoxious laughing coming from down the path I was currently on. I sighed while frowning, thinking my peace was going to be broken by some drunk and/or horny teenagers. But as I continued down the same path, I saw in the distance four figures, and three of them were very familiar.

Jacob, Quil, and Embry were lounging around a more secluded section of First Beach with what looked like a teenage girl. There was a brief moment of recognition, but I couldn't place a name or face from the distance I was standing from the group. As I got closer, it looked like the guys were teasing the fourth party and I rolled my eyes. That group never grew up. I knew Jacob and Quil would be joining the pack soon enough, but with the continuous mystery of Embry's missing father, there was no telling whether he was one of the chosen for the sacred pack.

My enhanced hearing brought their conversation closer to me before they were aware of my presence, but my steady pace would alert them soon enough.

"You wanna swim, Bella? The water's pretty cold, but we'll keep you moving for warmth," Quil suggested in a cheeky tone. That's when I realized that they were talking to Bella Swan, the daughter of the Chief of Police in Forks. With Forks and La Push so close, the gossip was shared between the small town and tribal lands. One of the latest chunks of news had been a new Chief of Police about 8 months ago, bringing his 17 year old daughter along. As a werewolf, I knew she had ended up dating one of the 'vegetarian' vamps about 3 months after she got to Forks, and they dated for about 2 months before his entire family up and left. Apparently, even in the beginning, she wasn't very heart broken, and now just lives her life as if they never existed.

Rumor had it she was even interested in Jacob Black, future Alpha and Chief of the Quileute tribe. But that was only talked about in La Push, of course. Forks didn't give a shit about our crappy town.

"Shut up, Quil! You're such a fucking perv. Jake, I gotta go. Charlie told me to be home by 2:30 and it's already 2. I'll catch you later." She jumped up, kissed Jacob on the cheek, slapped Quil on the back of the head, patted Embry's back, and started walking towards me down the path. I kept walking, but slower, because I knew any second now she would notice me.

"Oh!" Bella quietly exclaimed when she finally noticed my rather impressive size on the path just inside the woods off the beach. She glanced behind her, as if checking to see if the guys had heard her. I cleared my throat and watched, amused, as her head whipped around to face me again. But I was quickly serious again.

For the first time I noticed what she really looked like. Bella Swan was pretty tiny for someone with the strength she was rumored to hold. Standing at about 5'3" next to my 6'6" it was even more apparent. But that's not the first thing to catch my attention. What I really noticed was her face. It was smooth, not too rounded, but matured. Her cheek bones were well defined and it looked like she had a permanent pink hue to her cheeks. She had average brown eyes, but what wasn't striking in the color, was in the expression. Bella wasn't difficult to read, perhaps, but I was simply horrible at reading others.

As I brought myself out of some sort of daze her presence had put me in, I noticed that Bella was looking over me, too. I smiled slightly, because unlike Sam, I knew exactly what had just happened. I had imprinted on Bella Swan. My smile grew a little more when I saw that Bella had caught both of us staring and the blush grew in her cheeks. It was absolutely adorable.

"Um Hi," Bella said quietly. I chuckled and responded, "Hello," then, after a moment's hesitation, continued, "I'm Paul Meraz. I haven't seen you around here that often. Are you from Forks?" I, of course, already knew that answer, but really didn't want to freak my future wife out too much, because I'm sure if she heard the title I just gave her a heart attack would soon be pending.

Bella smiled slightly and answered, "It's nice to meet you. I'm Bella Swan and yes I'm from Forks, but lately it seems I've been spending more time at Black's than my own house. Something about La Push is just too welcoming." Her former fading blush came back full force as she realized she gave a little more than a proper answer, but I was thrilled. She was already feeling a pull toward La Push, and now to me. I smiled kindly at her, to make sure she knew I didn't mind her talking. Bella slowly relaxed as we stood there and eventually she bucked up the courage to talk, "How old are you?" I guess she thought it was a safe place to start 'cause she seemed to get a little more confidence after finally asking a question, but I understood. When I phased for the first time my body changed and took on the appearance of being much older than a teenager.

Not only did I stand at about 6'6" now, but my body was ripped through and through with muscles. According to Sam, even though we stopped aging, our bodies would always stay in shape (even after we stopped phasing and started aging), in case we ever needed to phase again. My face had lost all childish-ness it would have held and took on a more harsh look. My green eyes were cold, apparently. After I phased, Sam bucked up the courage to tell me that even though he was Alpha I terrified him because when I was seriously pissed my eyes looked "dead and creepy as hell" according to Sam.

I chuckled, and answered Bella's question, "I turned 18 today." Her eyes bugged and I laughed outright this time.

BPOV

I was absolutely amazed by the man in front of me. How could someone that gorgeous, and huge, and muscled, and matured be only 18 years old? He looked at least 25! There was something about him though. I couldn't put my finger on it, but even though I only knew his name and age, I felt safe. Paul could probably break me in half without a second thought, but somehow I just knew and felt that he would never do that to anyone.

Laughter from the beach pulled me out of my thoughts, "Sorry, but I have to go. My dad is probably wondering where I am." I started walking past him and it took a great amount of power to not grab onto him and never leave. But he stopped me instead, "I'll walk you back to your car. Those guys don't like me anyway." He jerked his head toward Jake, Quil, and Embry with an empty look on his face. I gave him a small smile and continued walking, but this time with him at my side. It felt so strange, but natural.

"Why don't they like you? You seem like an okay guy to me and that's just from seconds of conversation." He seemed hesitant to answer the question, but before I could reassure him, Paul started talking.

"Well, this town doesn't think I'm the nicest of people. There's some history in my family and I'm just sick of the stereotypes that seem to follow me everywhere. So when people bring up issues in taunting or unkind ways I tend to show my anger in ways that can be violent at times. I would never hurt you though!" He seemed to catch a flicker of fear or something in my face because of his quick reassurances and he suddenly started to shake. My first response was shock, but I quickly placed my hand on his forearm to reassure him that I wasn't scared he was going to hurt me or anyone else.

My touch seemed to do something to him because he as he took a deep breath the shaking stopped completely. He grabbed my hand up in both of his and gave it a gentle squeeze before letting go. I ignored the excess heat that seemed to be radiating from him. I didn't want Paul to think I was nosey, plus it felt really nice. Nothing like Edward's freezing, rock of a body. I've always loved the heat and the idea of spending an eternity cold really put me off the idea of being a vampire forever.

We continued walking for a few minutes before we broke through the trees and arrived at the end of the beach where I had parked my new truck. Paul gave a low whistle when he saw it and gave me an appreciative look. I laughed and replied, "My mom's husband is a major league baseball player so to make up for taking my mom on road trips with him he pretty much gives me anything I want. Including a shit load of money." I had always loved pick-up trucks, so instead of going of a sexy BMW like my mom had suggested, I had decided on a nice Toyota pick-up. It was sweet and smooth in dark blue. It could sit 3 in the front and 3 in the back comfortably with enough room for at least 3 more in the bed.

Paul was running his hand up and around the body work before coming out of his car-induced daze. I laughed again before jumping into the driver's seat. I quickly started my baby up, but rolled down my window instead of driving away. Paul leaned his arms on the window sill and I quietly gasped at the close proximity of his face. He placed his large, calloused hand on my cheek before asking, "You have a cell phone?" and then promptly reached for it when I nodded. He put his number in before calling his own phone and put my number in it. I was sorta dazed as he did the whole thing, but smiled when he handed my phone back. Then he leaned forward, kissed me on the cheek, and jumped away yelling bye as he went.

It took me a second before I was aware enough to actually drive away. What a day.


	3. Chapter 3

_She's a hot little number in her pick-up truck_

_Daddy's sweet money done jacked it up_

_She's a party all-nighter from South Carolina_

Chapter 3

There wasn't much that would have made that birthday any better. After I left Bella to ponder our conversation, I made my way to Sam's cabin to see if he had figured any of this imprint shit out. He lived in a cabin much like my own, but his was a little more civilized I suppose. And in civilized, I mean it's not in the smack middle of the woods. Instead, it's just a few steps from the middle of First Beach, just a short walk into the edge of the woods. But as I approached the house, I could hear that no one was home, so instead I detoured to Black's house.

If Sam wasn't home, then there was a good chance he was still at Billy's, looking for more guidance and explanation to what the fuck happened to him. And I had more news to throw at them: my own imprint. I knew Billy had been voting for Jacob to imprint on Bella Swan, but the old man would just have to understand that she was mine now and his son would have to watch his paws in the future (literally and figuratively).

Approaching the Black house, which wasn't more than a two minute walk from Sam's, I heard the voices of Sam, Billy, Harry Clearwater, and Old Quil Ateara. I felt a little bad for Sam on occasion because of the awkward tension that was a constant between him and Harry ever since Sam's transformation and connected break up with Leah Clearwater, Harry's daughter. Harry understood that Sam was just trying to protect innocent people, and Leah had gotten over the heartbreak by now, but still. There was something about being in the presence of the man who was supposed to be your father-in-law at one point.

I knocked for a second before letting myself in. Walking into a friend's house in La Push without being invited was so normal. It didn't matter if you'd only been to that particular house once before: we were all neighbors and had to stick together against the prejudices of local towns, including Forks. The others were in the kitchen and I heard Sam call out a greeting to me. Of course he would realize it was me first. Werewolf hearing and smell definitely had their perks.

I could hear that they were still discussing the imprint situation. "I don't know exactly what the purpose of imprinting is, but I have a feeling it has to do with the next generation. We can't have the gene skip another generation so maybe this will ensure strong pups. Keep the blood 'clean'."

"That's not it," I interrupted their conversation, knowing Old Quil's theory was wrong simply because of my own imprint, "It can't be to keep the blood pure Quileute." They all stared at me for a second; probably wonder where the hell I got off speaking to the tribal elders like that.

Eventually Billy spoke up, "What do you mean, Paul? Did you learn something new?"

I shrugged before answering, "Yeah, I guess I did." I didn't mean to be purposefully evasive, but I was still figuring this out myself, "I imprinted on someone who is not a member of the tribe today, so it has to be something other than bloodlines." This time, though everyone was still staring at me, Sam had an accusing look on his face, probably because he thought I kept information from him. "I'm just coming from being with her. I met her maybe 20 minutes ago," just to wipe that look off Sam's face, "But when you barged into my house, Sam, I did know what was going on. Apparently I listen more closely to the legends than my Alpha." I smirked as Sam's uncomfortable expression before turning back to Billy as he cleared his throat,

"Would you please inform us of whom you imprinted on? It is most important we find the reasoning our ancestors had for imprinting."

"I imprinted on Bella Swan," I stated it firmly while looking Billy in the eye with what I knew was a defiant glance, "And I have a theory." Once again, they all looked expectantly at me with a small glimmer of surprise in Billy's eyes. "I believe the reason for imprinting is for the sake of the wolves. We spend our lives dedicated to protecting our families and tribe with few breaks or little pleasure for ourselves. We deal with the fear and expectancy of pain and trouble. Without someone to keep us steady, be there for comfort, be there to come home to, we would go crazy. I already know, from knowing Bella for all of 10 minutes that the purpose of me imprinting on her is for me to have someone that will help keep my temper in check.

"Bella is calm, collected, grounded. She has seen the world, literally, and she seems to know what she wants, or at least, she's not in a hurry to find out. I need someone like her to keep me together. That's why she's my imprint." With that, I abruptly turned around and walked out the door. Because it was my birthday I wasn't supposed to have patrol, but Sam was pretty occupied with the elders so I took off into the woods.

I decided to detour toward Bella's house at the beginning of my patrol. Not only did I want her to be safe, but I just wanted to be around her. As I approached the house, though, I could hear her yelling at someone on the phone, "I don't give a damn 'bout how much ya miss me! Ya dumped me on Charlie the second ya could be with Phil." Her drawl was one of defiance and disrespect, but I found it sexy and oddly comforting. I guess I was already becoming dependent on the little spitfire. "Ahhh shut the hell up, woman. Ya ain't no mother to me, ma'am." Bella spit out the "ma'am" in a mocking, rotten apple voice as she slammed down the phone with enough force to knock a horse sized wolf senseless.

I could see independence raging within her, as I watched from the edge of the woods, still in wolf form. My Bella was frowning with frustration and bone deep determination. That was when I decided to never piss that woman off. Even werewolf strength wouldn't stop her from dishing out punishment where needed. I sat and watched as she scrubbed dishes furiously before letting out a long sigh. Bella was staring out the window as she wiped the suds off her hands. Darkness was slowly descending, but she continued to gaze at nothing through the small window and I continued to watch her. My heart was slowly filled with an insistent aching. What was going on? I understood I would need Bella close, but even when I was close to her I felt a need to have her closer. Was I feeling what she was feeling? That would make more sense, I guess.

"Bella?" An older man, probably her father, shouted as he entered the house. Bella and I both jumped. How had I not noticed him pull up? Bella turned and I heard her walk to the front door and greet her father with a kiss on the cheek. It was so strange, feeling a different kind of rage fill me. A part of me just couldn't believe I was jealous of her father, but what could I do? Bella was different. Like I had decided days ago; Bella wasn't just another victory to pocket.

Sam's howl broke me out of my thoughts.

Paul, get over here. You and I need to talk about this imprint situation.-Sam

_There's nothing for us to talk about. You imprinted, I imprinted, and both situations are pretty fucked up_. I didn't want to think about anything, but Bella for a long, long time. She was back in the kitchen now, but no longer staring out the window. She had continued the dishes and was quietly humming a random tune. Suddenly, Bella slammed her hands on the counter. She spun around and walked out of my sight. Then, I heard the front door slam, seconds before Bella rounded the corner of the house. She was staring directly at my shadow, which was extended slightly past the edge of the trees.

_Back off, Paul_! Sam had been seeing what was going on through my thoughts and understood that Bella had to have seen me. I tried to back up as quietly as possible, but I couldn't turn around without making a ton of noise.

"I can see ya, buddy. Don't even try it. I wanna see you before you decide to run," Bella's voice was determined, but I could sense a slight amount of fear. I didn't want her to be afraid of me, so I stayed put. Maybe then she would come to accept my wolf half when I told her the truth.

Slowly, Bella approached. I started to edge out of the trees so she wouldn't have to come into the dark woods. I knew the exact moment when Bella saw me. Her heart started beating like our native drums and her breath was gasping like a newborn babe. I felt Sam leave my mind so we could be alone, figuratively. Technically all her father had to do was look out the kitchen window and see us, but I had a feeling Bella knew that wouldn't happen. Charlie Swan would definitely have words with his daughter if he saw her approaching an extremely large wolf.

"Woah. You're huge." The shock in Bella's voice amused me and my chest rumbled with a laugh. I thought she would have been terrified, especially since it sounded like a growl, but she seemed to understand I was laughing at her, "Oh shush, ya giant animal. You can't be a real wolf. I've seen wolves before and they are not as big as you." She seems deep in thought before taking a deep breath, "Well, then I guess you have to be Quileute. I remember those stories from when I was a kid. Billy used to tell Jacob and me about the men who turned into giant wolves…but who are you?" I was in complete shock. How the hell did she figure it out? And so quickly? Who was this woman?

Bella was slowly edging closer. Her hand was held out toward my snout and I received a whiff of her divine scent. It sounded so damn cheesey, but she smelt like home. And my mom. It was so calming I had to fight the urge to phase back. My chest rumbled again, but this time it was almost as if I were purring…and then I realized I was. Bella laughed, "Well, I guess I was right. You're too nice to be a real wolf." I gave a yip, before turning back into the woods. Bella tried to follow, but I growled quietly to have her stay put.

Once I was behind a tree, I phased and slipped on my shorts. I could hear Bella still standing at the tree edge. I took a deep breath to prepare myself for revealing myself before I started walking toward her. Once again, I heard when she saw me. But this time was a little different. She let out a nervous little laugh and sat down with a huff. I slowly walked toward her before I sat cross legged in front of her; both of us leaning against a tree trunk. She stared at me for a little while and I stared right back at her. We were both looking each other over again, but she had new things to look for.

After a few minutes Bella broke the silence, "So. You're a wolf. One of those things from the legends."

"Yeah," I said, "I'm sorry I just kinda dumped that on you. I probably should have gotten to know you human style first." She cracked a smile before laughing again. "What's so funny?" I asked, but I couldn't help but smile at her laugh. She was so full of life and happiness.

"I'm just kinda surprised," She continued to smile at me as she talked, "When I first saw you today, I was immediately interested. You were this tall, bad boy looking kid, well you don't look like a kid, and I immediately liked you. You're the first person I've connected so well with since I was a little girl. And even then it was only Jacob Black that I could talk to like that." I let a growl slip and Jake's name and Bella gave me the stink eye when she heard, "Jacob is my best friend. Deal with it." I must have looked like a kicked puppy 'cause I could see her struggling not to laugh.

I sighed and decided it was time to spill my guts. Bella seemed to sense a change in the atmosphere. She sat up and leaned toward me, "Tell me everything. I want to know why I'm allowed to know about you. This has to be something you keep secret."

"It usually is a secret. The only people besides you and I that know right now are the elders: Quil Sr., Harry Clearwater, and Billy Black and Sam, the alpha of our very small pack. We will be growing soon, unfortunately. Sam can sense the change coming." I took a deep breath before continuing, "It is our duty to guard the people of La Push from our enemies, the vampires. There are some 'good' vamps, those that don't drink human blood and their eyes are gold, instead of the usual red." I noticed Bella turn a deathly pale and start to sway. I grabbed her shoulders to keep her steady and she leaned into my touch for support. I gently pulled her body toward me and set her against the same tree as me. She leaned on my side and put her head on my shoulder. "You can continue," Bella whispered. I glanced at her face and noticed her eyes were closed. I trusted she would tell me eventually what was bothering her.

"All vampires are extremely strong and fast, hard and cold as ice. They live forever, don't change at all, and we (the shapeshifters) are the only things that can kill them. Understand?" I felt Bella nod slightly against my shoulder so I continued again, "Now, we normally keep this as secret as possible because the more that know, the greater the chance is that someone unwanted will hear and inform the world of our existence. But there is one exception to the elders and pack members.

"We have a legend that speaks of imprints. An imprint is a man or woman that is destined to be a pack member's soul-mate. We all have different theories toward the reason of imprints, but mine is that as wolves, it is our job to protect our tribe, friends and family and we are to stay and work in La Push for the rest of our lives. We will only age when we stop phasing. We wear ourselves thin in our job and I think the imprint's job is to keep us from killing ourselves in the work, to keep us sane, and help us feel loved. But the imprint also benefits because they will be loved and cherished forever. There is no such thing as a divorce between imprints. There will be no infidelity." Bella had been silent through my whole story, but I knew she was awake and listening. Her grip on my arm had tightened as I talked about the power of imprinting.

Slowly, she turned to look at me. Her eyes were impossible for me to read, but I understood, all the same. She understood.

"I'm your imprint," she whispered, before a small smile broke across her face.

My heart was beating way too fast to be normal. I couldn't control the shaking in my hands as Bella sat next to me, not speaking, with her head bowed. She had smiled. But then went silent as she realized the extent of her role in my life. She was everything and I think she was just coming to that realization. I was afraid to tell her about how important she was to me, personally. I knew I would have to tell her my entire story one day but I didn't want to put everything on her at once. Then, as she raised her face to look me in the eye, that resolve was quickly broken.

"Why me, then? If your imprint will help you so much, why me? That doesn't make sense."

I took a deep breath, "Why doesn't it make sense? Why doesn't it work for you?" I couldn't talk for real yet. I just felt like curling in a ball and crying my eyes not, but I was afraid to appear vulnerable, even to this sweet yet strong willed girl under my arm.

"What could I possibly help you with? I can barely control my own temper, let alone help you with yours. I would be helpless when you're stressed or tired or angry. What the hell am I supposed to do to make you happy again? That's too much responsibility! You are pretty much putting the goodwill of every one of your tribe members in my hands by declaring their safety your top priority and saying it is in my power to keep you focused!" Her voice continued to rise with frustration and confusion and I was once again very grateful to the TV that fully occupied the Chief. I didn't need him to see his daughter like this because it was my fault and he would know it.

Suddenly, I leaned down, and touched my lips to Bella's. Her words were cut off abruptly. She sat completely still for a second as if shocked that I was actually kissing her. But before I could feel ashamed or embarrassed by my actions her arms were around my neck and she was kissing me back.

The peace, warmth, happiness that I felt as her smooth lips moved against mine was amazing and exactly what my restless wolf needed. I was one with my wolf and had been ever since I accepted my role, but I had never felt so at peace and connected with anything as I was with Bella. Her fingers were climbing up my neck and settled into a firm grip on my hair. The slight pain mixed into immense pleasure as she nipped my bottom lip. I probed her bottom lip with my tongue and she welcomed the muscle greedily.

Our tongues tangled in the nasty, saliva filled experience of kissing but as I pulled away gently to allow us both some breath, all I felt was the need to continue. Bella's eyes were still closed as she leaned her forehead against mine. Her cheeks were a brilliant red and I was sure mine were identical. We were both breathing harshly but were calmed by the physical contact. I gently pulled her onto my lap so her back was to my chest. I was sure she could feel my arousal but I was no longer embarrassed and she didn't seem to mind at all. I leaned my forehead against the junction between Bella's neck and shoulder as her right hand was drawn back into my hair, leaving my head in place.

"That is how you make me happy," I began speaking softly so as not to surprise her, "I don't need steaks every night or a grand performance to keep me content. Holding you, kissing you, seeing you keeps me happy and calm, Bella. Nothing is more satisfying than see you happy and smiling. Your laughter is soothing. Even hearing you yell at Quil for being a pervert left me satisfied because you were living and content. There are no expectations of you except to be happy with me, your wolf and mate. Please, Bella. Please don't give up on me now." As I knew it would, talking made me emotional and I couldn't stop the tears from building in my eyes. I was determined, however, to not let them fall.

I felt Bella shift in my lap and for a split second I panicked, thinking she was going to walk away, but then she was facing me, straddling my lap. I lifted my head to look at her as she tugged on my head with her grip on my hair.

"Paul," she murmured, "I'm not going anywhere. I'm sorry for freaking out for a moment, but being barefoot and pregnant in La Push was never exactly on my plan. But right now, that's all I can think about." My mind wandered with hers. I could picture her, in my kitchen, barefoot and heavily round with child. I could see a future, older me behind her with my arms around her waist and my hands on her extended belly. That was all it took for the tears to fall. Coming out of my imagination, I saw that Bella also had tears running down her face, "It's going to be okay, baby. Nobody is going to hurt you again and I will never leave your side. You can count on me as much as I trust you: with your whole life."

Somehow, she knew he had been hurt with abandonment and her love would be the thing to save him.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I bowed out of meeting her father right away. There was so much more that needed to be discussed before I met the future father in law. Something I was sure not to mention to Bella. She was so accepting of everything that I had just thrown at her, but I think our impending marriage and future children would be just too much after everything. I had already sidetracked from my patrol to come see Bella and really needed to get back to the job at hand. So with great reluctance and a little pain, I made sure she made it safely back inside the house before whipping off my shorts, secured them around my leg, and phased.

Sam was still waiting.

_That was irresponsible and very dangerous of you! _

_What was I supposed to do? You felt the pull I was experiencing! And I wasn't going to run and leave her on the edge of a very dangerous forest! Besides, you would have done the same if it was your imprint. _

There was silence on Sam's end for a few moments before he let out a wolf-y sigh.

_You're right. _I sent him the image of a smug grin. _But in the future, be more cautious! _The last word was tinged with a bit of a growl and I felt his genuine concern for Bella's and my own well-being.

_I will. I promise. It would kill me if anything happened to her._

Sam sighed again before saying, _I'm phasing out now. I need to go check on Emily. That's my imprint by the way. Thanks for asking, jackass. _And then he was gone.

I huffed a laugh as I resumed my patrol. Man, Sam never had it easy. Emily Young was undoubtedly one of the most gorgeous women around (just under my Bella) but she was also the cousin of Leah Clearwater, ex-extraordinaire to the one and only Sam Uley. There was definitely going to be a shit show and our little pack was going to have to watch their backs. Leah may not be the ornery, bitchy little girl she was a few years ago when Sam originally dumped her, but she was still not going to take this new found relationship kindly. Emily and Leah were never close, of course, with Emily being from the Makah Res and Leah having closer family right here in her own backyard. But still. It went against what the girls I had fucked called the Chick Law. Kind of like the Bro Code. In other words: girls didn't fuck any family or friends' exs. And Emily was about to tear that rule to pieces. If she accepted the wolf of course. Then I made a vow to keep an eye on both Emily and Sam. I couldn't have a girl's resistance to the inevitable ruining my Alpha's cool façade. That would destroy us all.

When I had done the loop for another couple hours I decided to head home before giving Sam a call to get his ass back to work. We both needed to stay focused; which was proving to be a very difficult battle because all I wanted to do was think of Bella; hold Bella; kiss Bella; have dirty, loud sex with Bella.

Shaking those images out of my head I took the loop closest to the stretch of houses next to the beach. Emily's wasn't too far from Sam's, just closer to town. I could hear two heartbeats as I approached and then the low murmur of Sam's voice generally followed by the less familiar tones of Emily's. Everything seemed to be good so I continued on my way home.

I was intercepted by Billy Black as I crossed through the woods at his backdoor.

"Paul? You out there, son?"

I sighed before phasing back. All I wanted to do was go home, call Sam, and then get some sleep. Maybe call Bella before my nap. Instead, I trudged through the Black's backdoor. Billy was waiting in the kitchen with fresh coffee. I could tell that Jacob wasn't home and that helped me relax. I didn't need that punk harping on me for being a member of Sam's "cult" right now.

I slouched down in the chair across from Billy and sipped the coffee he had set out. Just the way I liked it: black.

Billy watched me for a moment before sighing and ducking his head. I watched as he shook his head just slightly and then looked up. I was tense, waiting for a reprimand or some kind of denial.

"Paul," Billy paused, "I know you think I won't accept this imprint. But that's not true. I've only known Bella for a short time but I've known her father for the majority of my life. Did you know he used to live here, in La Push? No, I wouldn't think so. Charlie's mother was Quileute and his father was white. He was a well-off fellow and his money and flashy lifestyle intrigued Rachel, Charlie's mom. She was so very young but no one could convince her that Swan was anything but the best. And he knew that she was too far gone to leave him now. So, when Rachel got pregnant, that was it. They left together, him convincing her that her life would never be what she wanted if she didn't leave while she could.

"She came back, about a year later. Swan had, of course, ditched her soon after he had taken her away. He had refused to marry her and refused to acknowledge the child as his own. She was heartbroken but still loved him too much. So it still came as a great shock to her when he finally kicked her out onto the streets. No money. Nothing. She was nine months pregnant. She gave birth to Charlie in the Emergency Room of an L.A. hospital and used Swan's insurance information to get out of the bills. Then, she took Charlie, and ran. I don't know how she got back here, but she did. At that point Charlie was a few months old and she was dying.

"Charlie was put into my parents' care and we grew up as brothers while his mother lay dying, still caught in love with a man who hated her. She had given Charlie his father's last name in hope that one day the man would come looking for him. But he never did. Charlie grew up here, happy, until he met Renee, Bella's mother. Renee had dreams of escaping Forks, her home town, and falling in love was not in her plans. But when is it ever. Charlie swooped her away in his passion and romantic views. He went along with her dreams of leaving but loved the Res so much. When he finally told our family he was leaving, my parents, our parents really, were outraged. Our father was so furious he banned Charlie from ever returning to the Res. And that was that. They moved away, South Carolina if I remember correctly, and Renee was soon pregnant. They got married, had Bella, and everything was perfect. Until Bella was about 10 years old and Renee walked out on them. Charlie kept it together for another 8 years until recently. He couldn't keep it together without his family and his land. So he came back."

Billy's story had thrown me for a loop, but I still couldn't understand what this had to do with my imprint and Jacob. I frowned at Billy, waiting for him to look up and explain himself but he stayed silent for another few moments. Then, with another heavy sigh, he continued the story, "I don't have the power to take away my father's ban on Charlie, but fortunately, Bella is not under the same restrictions so she is welcome at all times. I have not seen Charlie for 18 years, Paul. We were raised as brothers since we were babies. But I do not believe I still have that brother. I wanted Jacob to imprint on Bella so we would be a family again. That is all I want."

At this point, Billy was crying and I could feel his pain. I had also lost what little family I had been given and I could understand my Elder's desire. But something didn't fit.

"Billy, how could you be family if Charlie isn't even allowed to visit? And never could?"

"Sam has the power to remove Charlie's banishment. I only realized that recently but then you phased and I haven't wanted to take what little free time he has by requesting this of him."

I nodded, understanding, "Well, then I'll ask him. I was about to call him anyway." I got up, ready to finally make my way home, but paused in the doorway. Without turning around I said, "And you can still be a family, Billy. You don't need Jacob and Bella for that. You didn't need blood or law before so it's no different now." With that, I walked out.


End file.
